Merely a Vessel

It appears that our preparation for Turtle's arrival into our family couldn't be going more smoothly. We are reading all the children's books our library has to offer on new babies, birth, and being a big sister. Vivi seems utterly delighted with my expanding girth and we frequently talk about her birth and what she can expect when Turtle comes out. The idea that we are going to have a "leetle, leetle baby" coming to live with us and she is going to be a big sister and mama's helper often has her bubbling with excitement. I frequently find her with her shirt pulled up "nursing" her teddy bears or trying to change their diapers just "for practice." She has conversations with my belly and will stop in the midst of play just to come over, lift my shirt, and kiss Turtle.

One would think that I would be overjoyed by Vivi's enthusiasm and, to be honest, part of me is. I am sure this is so much easier than having a child who is completely ambivalent or worse, downright hostile. BUT I am starting to feel that I am not her mommy so much as merely a vessel carrying her new sibling.

For example, every morning Vivi climbs into bed with me. We used to talk and snuggle but now the first thing she does is ask, "Mama, is Turtle awake?" Then she proceeds to bury under the comforter, lift my nightgown, and give my belly a kiss and a hug while asking, "Turtle, did you have a good sleep?" At bedtime, when my husband asks her to kiss me goodnight, she refuses saying only that she wants to snuggle with Turtle. Talk about being upstaged by a fetus!

Of course, I am happily looking forward to Turtle's arrival in March. Not only will we get to meet the newest member of our family but we will also see how Vivi adjusts to a baby outside of my body. After all, my belly will finally return to being just a belly.


  1. We all want our children to accept each one born after the first, sometimes it works right away and most time it takes longer. I am a believer in helping my kids to adjust to liking each other by including them in helping out as they like.


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