I've tried very hard not to be worried. You see, since we discovered my pregnancy, my husband and I have been amazed at my quick expansion. Everyone assured me, "It's your second pregnancy. You show quicker, that's all." None of my prenatal visits yielded anything out of the norm and my midwife has been confident in my health and my ability to have Turtle at home. Then Thursday came and everything changed.
When my midwife walked in Thursday morning, she commented on how much bigger I seemed from the month before. I agreed and questioned whether or not I could be having twins. She said that I likely would have been measuring ahead all along but that hasn't really been the case. Nor could she find two heartbeats. Her thought was that we needed to investigate whether or not I was developing gestational diabetes and/or had too much fluid in my belly which could lead to pre-term labor. I burst into tears because all the worry finally came to the surface. Was there something wrong with Turtle? Is she or he growing too big for me to have the home birth I wanted? Did I screw this up somehow by eating too many cookies? Whatever the reason, I needed an ultrasound and agreed to get one.
Before I continue, I should explain my hesitance about ultrasounds. I never had one with Vivi because it was never medically indicated. My bloodwork was always normal, my measurements were on par with my gestation, and my midwife could feel her position in utero. As someone who tries to steer clear of medical interventions, it didn't feel right to have it done especially since there has been some research expressing concern about the safety of obstetric ultrasounds. Furthermore, there is also a part of me that just feels like I am tempting fate by trying to find out something before nature intends. I'm not just talking sex here. You see, it would do me no good to know that my baby has a cleft palate or something else that is untreatable in utero. All I would do is worry and that hasn't really ever served me well.
With all that being said, and after many a pep talk from mommy friends, I realized that I was at a point in my pregnancy where this test was medically indicated and I'd actually feel better if I did it. I called for an appointment and they got me in yesterday. That's when we discovered that we are expecting TWINS!!! OH. MY. GOD.
I was lying on the table with my husband and Vivi standing next to me. The technician put the wand on my belly and Turtle appeared. She was giving us a good look at him/her when my husband said, "So it looks like there's just one, right?" That's when the technician slid the wand across my belly and said, "Nope. You've got twins." We reacted in the only way one does in moments of complete shock- we hysterically laughed and cried simultaneously.
So in the last 36 hours, we've gone from feeling extremely worried that there was something seriously wrong with our baby to relief that it's just twins to holy crap, we are having twins in 3 and a half months! We are feeling both immense joy and tremendous trepidation. (So many names! Can we get by without a minivan? How am I going to nurse TWO babies? Whoa... how am I going to do anything with a toddler and two babies?)
Vivi, however, has already adjusted brilliantly to the change- my belly now contains Turtle #1 and Turtle #2.