What Is a Good Mother?
For the most part, I think I am a good mother. I feed, clothe, and clean my children. I tell them I love them. I give them independence and encouragement. I read to them and play games with them and drive them places. I try to utilize positive reinforcement.
Except when I don't.
There are times when I lose it. When I throw a (plastic) plate across the kitchen because it is 8:00 at night and I told you it was bed time and not snack time. When the whining is so insufferable that all I can do is shout "STOP IT NOW!!!!!!" at the top of my lungs so that I stun you into silence. When I have to ask you for the tenth time to put the god-damned markers away because I am fed-up with scrubbing ink off the walls and floors. When I tell you, "You know what? I don't actually like that drawing." because I'm feeling spiteful that that you called dinner "disgusting."
I've done all those things. Some of them I've done more than once. With the exception of about 6 hours a week, I spend every single moment with my children in this same house. I'm sick of this place and I am sick of the monotony of parenting. How can someone NOT lose it? I feel like I'm pretty normal in the grand-scheme of middle-class mothering.
My husband disagrees.
He thinks that I am impatient and critical. He says I lose my temper too frequently and I do not communicate in a positive, caring way.
I admit that mothering and running a household simultaneously do not come easily to me. Where my husband and I disagree, however, is over my general approach. I feel it is unfair to judge me when the vast majority of time he spends with our family falls between 6:30 and 8:00 in the evening.
Once upon a time, I used to have a job. I used to wear clothes that required dry cleaning. I used to have a routine that revolved around my professional aspirations. I used to be a parent and an employee. This is my husband's life so frankly, I don't think he gets a right to complain about my occasional unhappiness with being a stay-at-home mother, laundry maven, chef, cleaning lady, receptionist, bill-payer, mail-sorter, seamstress, chauffeur and gofer, social coordinator, and hostess.
I don't think he has spent a full 24 hours alone with all of our spawn. I bet a few plates would fly then.
So, what say you fair Internet, does any of this ring true in your house?