Mama Mama Quite Contrary

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a baby in this country. When I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Central Asia, the specifics of childrearing were pretty much lost on me. I was 22 at the time and not thinking much about kids, even though I spent most of my working days with them. What was very clear is that the children were raised by the community and they had a lot of independence. About four months into my service, I got my own bachelorette pad. It was two rooms with a shared outbuilding containing a hole for relieving yourself and an adjacent room with a torch and cauldron for washing. It was January and it was cold the day I moved. When I opened the door to my place, I found my neighbor bathing her newborn daughter in a pot next to the open flame on the gas stove. I didn't think much of it at the time but now I laugh at the thought of that sort of thing happening here. As parents, there are plenty of things to protect our kids from-- bullies, d...

Much to the neglect of my family, I am fully engrossed in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga. I will be the first to admit that a young adult book about vampires who have sworn off human blood wouldn't normally be at the top of my must-read list but I am sucked in (pretty clever pun, eh?) and with only a book and a half to go, I must finish. Normally, I am not the type to jump on the mass-market book bandwagon. I missed the whole Harry Potter thing while I was in Peace Corps and never felt the desire to pick up the book upon my return. Science fiction has never really been my thing so when my friend MiNa gave me the Twilight book "just in case" I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, I thought that I would politely return it to her a week or so later with the usual "too busy" excuse. Then I curiously read the first few pages and well, you see where this is heading. It's not that the book is well-written. It isn't. The story, however, is something...

I finally left my family. My exit was premeditated and executed with such precision that I may have a future as a CIA agent... or a wedding planner. While I normally fantasize about slipping out of the house under cover of darkness, I left town last Friday morning in broad daylight with the blessing of my husband. I didn't come home until Monday night and it was glorious. It's fair to say that I have been pretty burned out by my domestic duties. I love my family but, good god, I was turning into a Class A Crankypants. I was just tired and miserable and isolated in my mom of multiple babies identity.* I was getting bogged down in what I hated about my life instead of enjoying what I do. Six months of chronic sleep deprivation has a way of doing that to a person. So when the invitation came from my friend E. to visit her and some of our Peace Corps friends in San Diego, I jumped at the chance. E. is one of my dearest friends and we were practically inseparable during our ser...

Well, we've done it. After much deliberation, my husband and I decided to let Lu, our Chinese babysitter, go. As I've written before, I was not without my conflicts about the situation . Lu clearly loved Vivi and for many months, they shared a wonderful, fun relationship. I put my own inability to communicate with Lu aside because Vivi really seemed happy when they were together. Like her father, Vivi has a remarkable ability and confidence with words. She was an early talker and it was not a surprise to us when Vivi's language surpassed Lu's several months ago. It didn't seem to be a problem though until May when Vivi started to say, "Mama, I no want Lu coming to our house." She would fuss on Wednesday mornings and not want me to leave. Plus, I could see that Lu had no idea what Vivi was saying. Unlike me, who could use props and gesticulate until Lu understood, Vivi couldn't do that as effectively. Still, I struggled with the power I had as a parent ...

My husband came home from the farmer's market last weekend with a truckload of beets. When I asked him why he had bought so many beets, he calmly replied, "It was buy one ton, get one ton free and I thought that was a good deal." And I thought I was the bargain shopper in the family... After giving up on most Central Asian delicacies (mutton, anyone?), I grew to love beets. There's nothing like living in the former Soviet Union to precipitate a fondness for beets but what was I going to do with all of these? Even I didn't know if I could stomach that many. I started off by making a gallon of Vinograd which is a Russian salad consisting of beets, potatoes, white beans, onions, dill, and pickles. I know. Right now you are thinking that I would need to pay you a million rubles to give this salad a try but trust me, fair reader, it's actually quite good. I thought I'd shot my wad on the salad though so I turned to the Internet for some beet inspiration. That...

I know this sounds blasphemous but I am really not that crazy about summer. I hate the heat and the humidity and every summer day seems to end with me feeling sweaty, tired, and cranky. I hate having to slather my and Vivi's fair skin with sunscreen or make sure we have hats on even though it's too bloody hot for hats. I'm no fan of winter either but summer seems to have edged it out as my least favorite season. When I was a kid growing up in Vermont, I loved summer and all that it meant: the break from school, setting up a tent in our backyard, playing outside ALL DAY. Of course, I remember feeling bored sometimes but I don't recall ever feeling like I just couldn't wait for the heat to pass. Now, as an adult, I don't feel like my life has slowed to a summer pace. I feel like I have as many responsibilities as I have the rest of the year except now I am doing them without central air. (Despite what W and his cronies all say, I really don't remembe...

After returning from Turkmenistan, I came to the realization that I had lost my handle on English prepositions and some verbs. This may sound strange but I still confuse words like of, at, to and in. Am I "of a mindset" or "in a mindset?" Did we spend the day "in the park" or "at the park?" I really don't know. I also have found that sometimes I have to stop and think about which form of a verb I should use. For example, it is not immediately clear to me that "the box of snacks was open" is correct grammar. My brain hears snack s and I have to stop and think, "Is it 'was open' or 'were open'? What is the subject of the verb?" Now one would think that for me to lose a pretty basic part of the English language, I must have been quite good at speaking Russian. That would be wrong. I spent my entire time in the Peace Corps struggling with a language that didn't make ANY sense to me. If I encountered someon...

I've never considered myself a real hipster. I don't follow trends. I really can't tell you who Hannah Montana is. I'm not into fashion. (Although I recently drew the line at my husband wearing his high school gym shorts ever again. He graduated in 1974.) I haven't enrolled our toddler in an SAT prep course. I just live my little life the best way I know how-- simply. It seems that by doing so I have turned myself into a willing participant in a green revolution. We try to do what makes sense for us-- hanging our clothes outside, reusing cloth grocery bags, having a garden, turning off the lights, and walking or riding our bikes whenever possible. (When we need to drive, we have a Prius.) It doesn't feel like a big deal. Perhaps, it was growing up in Vermont and spending most of my childhood outside that made me this way. Or living in Turkmenistan as a Peace Corps volunteer and seeing how it was possible (and in many ways, preferable) to get by on so little. Or ...

Everyone knows I've got a thing for refugees. This isn't some sort of Angelina Jolie complex. In the late nineties , I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Turkmenistan where I met Afghans who had fled the Taliban, Russians who were trapped following the collapse of the Soviet Union, and other ethnicities just trying to make their way under one of the most oppressive regimes on Earth. (Turkmenistan or the Taliban? Good god that is a choice no person should ever have to make.) And, of course, there were times when I felt like a refugee myself. Everything was different in Central Asia and I frequently found myself torn between an overwhelming desire to return home and honoring the commitment I made when I joined the Peace Corps. Until Vivi's first birthday when I decided to stay home full-time, I spent my career working on behalf of refugees. Fast forward to a few months ago when my husband and I made the decision to hire a babysitter for a few hours each week, for the sake of my ...