Mama Mama Quite Contrary

Sometimes I feel bad for Vivi.   I get what is means to be a daughter.  I also understand what it is like to be the first-born and a big sister.  Like most people in the world, however, I have no idea what it means to be a sibling to "the twins."  For Vivi, I think it must really suck sometimes. This morning Vivi was complaining of a stomach ache and said she didn't want to go to camp.  I knew she was probably feeling anxious and, after a long weekend of fun activities, it made sense to me that she would want to stay home.  She still managed to get dressed and fully-accessorized but as she was lying on the floor complaining about camp, Jude came over and dumped a cup of water all over her.  It drenched Vivi's "best favorite ever ruffly shirt" that she was wearing and she burst into tears. I jumped up from the table, grabbed the cup from Jude, and yelled, "Why would you do that?" Jude burst into tears.  Then in some kind-of strange twin symbiosi...

This is Jude. Jude has always been a daddy's girl . I am generally okay with that.  Since Vivi has expressed a clear preference for our neighbor and Ellie seems to want to snuggle with me, it's only fair that my husband gets a little loving now and then too.  He's a great guy. Today, however, Jude did something I never expected.  This morning, I ignored both Turtles in order to do some laundry.  They were entertaining themselves (translation: fighting over toys) so I let them have at it so I could serve the higher cause of providing my family with some clean underwear.   By the time I was done, it was obvious that Jude needed a break from Ellie.  I sat down next to her on the living room rug and cracked open a book.  Before I began to read, Jude grabbed my hand and said, "Love you Mama." I don't know if she really does love me or if she was just sick of her sister.  Both scenarios are plausible but it made my morning, nonetheless.

Five years ago today, I became a mother to this little creature: I loved her instantly.   Somehow that peanut turned five. Today, like each day before, I love her even more.   (Even when she decides that the best place to pose for her "5" birthday photo is next to the potty.)

Sometimes I just can't get over how lucky I am to have this life.  I know this is a big change from the usual griping I do on this blog but I have had such a nice week that I thought I'd share. And, since this is my update for the ME Challenge , it seems particularly appropriate.  It started last Saturday when my husband gave me some time to myself.  Instead of puttering around the house, I decided to visit my dear friend with four month-old twins.  It was such a delight catching up with her and snuggling with her babies.  She asked me questions about things I did when my Turtles were that small and it is amazing that I have no recollection whatsoever of how we made it through the days and weeks of that first year.  What a joy to be able to experience twins without having the sleep deprivation, guilt, and feeding demands clouding the experience!  Now that we've gone a couple of weeks without snow, the girls and I have been out and about a lot.  ...

My girls are all about the love these days.  Jude delights in running up to Ellie, resting her head on Ellie's chest, and putting her hand on Ellie's mouth which is what Jude thinks is a kiss.  Ellie used to scream in annoyance but lately they both have been giggling at their own affection for each other.  It really is a delight to see.    Ellie, the most reserved of all my girls, has been doling out her own kisses lately.  While nursing, she will occasionally pull herself off the breast to look up at me and hum.  That's her sign that she wants to give me a kiss.  (Maybe she is sensing my increased discomfort with nursing and is trying to entice me to keep at it a little longer.)  At five this morning, while nursing both of them in my bed, Ellie finished and pulled herself off, crawled across my chest over to Jude, and gave her one big, wet, milky kiss.  This lead to lots of sleepy giggles and whatever hope I had of ...

Dear Bob,       I heard rumors about you at the playground.  Many a woman has reported that you are strong and tough but have a soft, sensitive side.  The word around the swings is that you really seem to take good care of the children and these ladies wouldn't know what to do without you in their lives.  They say that the big potholes of life are just little bumps in the road to you.  As you know now, it was that attitude and your zest for life that made me want to meet you.       I believe that our first rendezvous was one of passion and promise.  I had that giddy feeling of potential and I knew what the ladies said was true.  You would never let me or my girls down.  I am singing your praises without any benefit to me other than your unwavering support and commitment.  You have already given me so much and I only hope that I can continue to be worthy of your g...

Yesterday, Vivi asked me something very important. She said, "Mama, what is love?" Oh boy! Have I been trying to figure that one out for a while now. I thought, somewhat cynically, it is when mama frantically chases you down the sidewalk praying the whole time that a car won't back out of a driveway and hit you. Or it's when I read Where the Wild Things Are for the millionth time or clean up your poop. That is definitely love. What I really wanted to explain is that love is a warm, tingly feeling inside but since Vivi is still potty-training I thought that might confuse things. Since Vivi came along, love has been more than a tingly feeling though. It is like my heart is swollen-- a feeling that I could just explode from the weight of my adoration for my little family. It's something that I find impossible to contain and certainly one that I probably couldn't convey to a toddler without scaring the hell out of her. Ultimately, I told Vivi that love i...