Mama Mama Quite Contrary

I am in the throes of despair.  No, it's not my waistline or the complete inability of my Turtles to sleep through the freaking night (although those certainly merit despair.)  I'm distraught because our babysitter is going away to college and next Wednesday is her last day.  "But Mama Mama," you say, "didn't you already say goodbye to the best babysitter in the whole world last summer?"  Yes, I did but because the universe seems to take mercy on my pathetic attempt at twin parenting, I found another gem of a helper several months ago. When I posted my ad on Craig's List last fall I was not optimistic.  We had just fired another babysitter who had as much energy as roadkill even though she came with rave reviews from a fellow parent at Vivi's nursery school.  When the replies to my ad came in,  I was certain I was destined to grieve the loss of our beloved Brown student forever.  Every single response contained bad grammar, ridiculous ...

I have a sweet high-school student who comes in and helps us out during the insane time of 5-7 p.m.  For those of you who don't have children, or have forgotten, this is the time of day when a mother would rather rip out her own toenails than be alone with her demanding children.  A time when EVERYONE is at their wits' end and nothing can get done fast enough.  We hired this babysitter back in August during the period between when my sister left and our Brown student returned for the fall.  She came to the interview with her mother and I hired the girl the next day.  She started that evening and has worked with us ever since.  So, a couple of weeks ago, we had this conversation: Babysitter:  My mom wants to come visit and see the babies again.  Is that okay? Me:  Sure.  Can she take one home with her?  Ha..Ha... Babysitter:   I'm sure she would.  When we met you, we were surprised ...

Rejoice! A holiday miracle has happened-- my husband and I went out on a hot date last night. With the Turtles going to bed by 6:30 every evening, we decided we would be wild and crazy, get them a babysitter, and go out for dinner and a movie. I know. We've outdone ourselves. In order to enjoy our date, some prep work needed to be done. A frozen pizza was purchased for Vivi and the babysitter, a movie was rented, and the popcorn was pre -popped. After dinner, Vivi was to take a bath and then she could stay up and watch Babe, the film I had chosen for the occasion. Now, being a person who isn't really familiar with kids' movies, I thought a film about a sheep- herding pig would be totally innocuous. When we got home from our date, however, the sitter informed us that Vivi was rather upset about a sheep dying and Babe getting sick. ( Ummm ... a sheep dies in it? There's blood? What about the happy little pig?) So it was no surprise this morning when Vivi said, "Mam...

Well, we've done it. After much deliberation, my husband and I decided to let Lu, our Chinese babysitter, go. As I've written before, I was not without my conflicts about the situation . Lu clearly loved Vivi and for many months, they shared a wonderful, fun relationship. I put my own inability to communicate with Lu aside because Vivi really seemed happy when they were together. Like her father, Vivi has a remarkable ability and confidence with words. She was an early talker and it was not a surprise to us when Vivi's language surpassed Lu's several months ago. It didn't seem to be a problem though until May when Vivi started to say, "Mama, I no want Lu coming to our house." She would fuss on Wednesday mornings and not want me to leave. Plus, I could see that Lu had no idea what Vivi was saying. Unlike me, who could use props and gesticulate until Lu understood, Vivi couldn't do that as effectively. Still, I struggled with the power I had as a parent ...

I admit that I have a prejudice against things made in China. If it's food, it is probably tainted with anti-freeze and if it's a toy, it almost certainly contains lead paint or phthalates ready to wreck my kid's reproductive organs. It's not rational but as a woman who is trying to be a good mom AND do the job of the FDA, I cling to these ideas. Yesterday, I was thrown into neurotic mama mode when Lu, Vivi's Chinese babysitter, arrived with "treats" for her. As I've posted before, Lu and I really can't communicate but I ascertained that Lu found my use of gummy bears as potty-training bribery to be unacceptable. (Maybe it was the scrunched up expression on her face that gave it away.) Hence, the new treats. Well, the "treats" weren't just for a successful trip to the potty. They were for anytime Vivi wanted them which turned out to be one right after another. She probably consumed ten of them in under a minute. This shocked ...

Everyone knows I've got a thing for refugees. This isn't some sort of Angelina Jolie complex. In the late nineties , I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Turkmenistan where I met Afghans who had fled the Taliban, Russians who were trapped following the collapse of the Soviet Union, and other ethnicities just trying to make their way under one of the most oppressive regimes on Earth. (Turkmenistan or the Taliban? Good god that is a choice no person should ever have to make.) And, of course, there were times when I felt like a refugee myself. Everything was different in Central Asia and I frequently found myself torn between an overwhelming desire to return home and honoring the commitment I made when I joined the Peace Corps. Until Vivi's first birthday when I decided to stay home full-time, I spent my career working on behalf of refugees. Fast forward to a few months ago when my husband and I made the decision to hire a babysitter for a few hours each week, for the sake of my ...