Monday, August 4, 2008

Daddy's Girl

I'm not sure what happened but I seem to have fallen out of favor with my daughter. I'm no longer the chief snuggler or storyteller or general all around companion. I have been displaced by my husband and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

It's not that Vivi doesn't still need me for the basics. This morning she said, "Mama. I need to have my own crumpet........please" when taking nibbles of my breakfast didn't suffice. I also seem to be her parent of choice to deal with the inevitable clean-up that follows, "Mama, I just peed over dare." But the cuddles and fun? No mamas allowed.

Yesterday, she was upstairs in my husband's office inevitably tearing the place apart while my husband was on the computer. When I went up there to see what was going on, I was greeted with "No mama. You no come in here. I wid daddy!"

This morning, my husband and Vivi were reading a story on the couch when I sat down next to them. "Mama. You no sitting right here. I sitting right here wid daddy." Well, okay. It's not like I wanted to listen to I'll Love You Forever for the eight thousandth time anyway.

But it bothers me. Of course, separate from my own mothering insecurity, I am really happy that Vivi and my husband have a gorilla glue type bond. And I recognize that their bond does allow me the opportunity to slide a little when I'm just too tired to be as engaged and mindful as I should be. Still, it's the wondering about how good a mother I am that makes me feel like I want to be the chosen one as if that were an indication of what it means to be a competent parent. (I doubt my husband struggles with these ideas...)

Since there seems to be little I can do to change my daughter's "talk to the hand" attitude right now, I think I'll just try not to take her actions personally. It'll be difficult but I'm starting to learn that Vivi's actions tend to go in cycles. I'm hoping this "no mama phase" is a short one though.

1 comment:

  1. I hope everything turns out alright, our children love us each in their own way and I am sure Vivi will come around, best of luck.

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