Twins Versus Singleton

Sometimes I feel bad for Vivi.  

I get what is means to be a daughter.  I also understand what it is like to be the first-born and a big sister.  Like most people in the world, however, I have no idea what it means to be a sibling to "the twins."  For Vivi, I think it must really suck sometimes.

This morning Vivi was complaining of a stomach ache and said she didn't want to go to camp.  I knew she was probably feeling anxious and, after a long weekend of fun activities, it made sense to me that she would want to stay home.  She still managed to get dressed and fully-accessorized but as she was lying on the floor complaining about camp, Jude came over and dumped a cup of water all over her.  It drenched Vivi's "best favorite ever ruffly shirt" that she was wearing and she burst into tears.

I jumped up from the table, grabbed the cup from Jude, and yelled, "Why would you do that?" Jude burst into tears.  Then in some kind-of strange twin symbiosis, Ellie ran over to Jude before Jude even began calling for her.  Ellie embraced her as Jude rested her head on Ellie's shoulder.  Jude's crying quickly subsided as Ellie rubbed her back and said, "Is alright Jude."

What struck me about this is that it was Vivi who was wronged.  Ellie didn't run to her to make sure she was okay when she normally would have. Jude took priority and I realized how lonely it must be for Vivi sometimes.  That amazing bond that Jude and Ellie share is lost on all of us but it most profoundly affects their big sister.

Jude did apologize to Vivi and she quickly changed into an even fancier outfit.  I guess what she lacks in twins, she makes up for in sparkles.

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  1. You know...I wonder this all the time. My girls are always going to be close, and I wonder how another child would fit into the mix. Would he/she feel left out, or be excluded, or be ignored by the twins? It seems that that is inevitable anyway---I can remember doing that to my younger siblings (I'm the oldest of five), but maybe it would even be more so with twins vs. a singleton. That, among other reasons, makes me wonder how I will ever get up the resolve to have another child.....

  2. Yes! My boys' primary loyalties are to each other, and every so often we have a situation like the one you described, where that is made painfully clear to everyone else.

  3. I see how my twins (who are the older ones) often help each other before they'll help their little brother too. At this point, I don't think it's intentional, but it still happens. Like one twin will always make sure to get enough crackers out for both twins, but forget about getting some for their baby brother.

  4. Vivi and my little Madelyn need to hang out....

  5. It must be difficult...but I think it's also great to have brothers and sisters....I am an only child and I would definitely love to have more people in my family...
    My baby is just born and, being 38 I am not sure I will have another baby...hopefully she won't feel lonely

  6. here you are!!! thanks!!



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