I can't tell you how many people walk into our house, see Jude and Ellie running gangbusters through the mess, and say, "Ok. Don't tell me who is who. Let me guess." Sometimes, my friends get it right and sometimes they don't but I think it is funny that guessing who is who has become a little game for them.
Jude and Ellie look a lot alike. Physically, they were quite different when they were first born but as the months passed, they started to look more and more like each other. I don't dress them the same for many reasons, not the least of which is it takes me just a little too long to differentiate them when they are in the same outfit. With efficiency and simplicity as my goal, matching outfits would only add to the chaos.
Now, as the mother, you would think that I have no problem telling my kids apart but if they are dressed alike and I'm not seeing their faces directly on, I confuse them. A lot. At their one year well-check, I was holding a baby on my lap facing the doctor. My husband was holding the other one. We were arguing over who was who in front of the pediatrician and well, I was wrong.
The pervasive assumption throughout my pregnancy was that the babies are fraternal. They had separate sacks, separate placentas, and the number of fraternal twins in my family is significant. As the months have passed, however, I've wondered if this is actually the case. Jude and Ellie are very similar to each other and very dissimilar from their big sister. The Turtles have always been within ounces of each other in weight, their first tooth was both their top right and they have hit all their milestones within days of each other, and they both have the same, swirled blue and brown eye-color. There are other things too, which combined with my challenges of telling them apart, has got me wondering. Are my girls identical or am I just really clueless?
I wonder about this but I don't feel inclined to find out if they are actually identical. I'm afraid that knowing might change how I parent them and I like the idea that perhaps there are more differences than I can actually see. If I knew they were identical, I think I'd be less likely to treat them as individuals. (Consciously or not...)
So, I guess I'll just err on the side of clueless mama.