Inappropriate Behavior

It seems that pregnancy can bring out the worst in people. I'm not talking about the pregnant woman herself but others. I have encountered enough random people who feel the need to touch, comment, or ask inappropriate questions to last a lifetime. Here's a recent sampling:

"Did you use fertility drugs or what?" This was asked by the lab tech who drew my blood.

"So, just between you and me, how much weight have you gained?" From a woman who recently cut my hair for the first time.

"Well, at least you don't have eight in there." From various people who learn that I am carrying twins.

"Sam, you are HUGE! I mean, you have to be the biggest pregnant woman I have ever seen!" From a neighborhood acquaintance who had not seen me in a while.

I have to admit that I have been so shocked by some of these comments that I have mostly laughed in response. Still, it bothers me. It's no one's business if I ended up with twins because of a medical intervention or because of genetics. How is asking if I used fertility drugs any less invasive than asking about the particulars of conceiving the traditional way?

In regard to the octuplets, I know the comments are meant to be humorous or an attempt to ease any nervousness we have about raising two babies at once but it doesn't feel that way. The octuplet mom clearly has some mental health issues and made a conscious decision to have an army of children. I think about her children and it fills me with an incredible sadness. Sure, things will be easier for us with 3 compared to 14 but somehow these comments just minimize what is ultimately a legitimate and emotionally appropriate anxiety for us.

Now, about my size and weight, shame on everyone who hasn't had the good sense to tell me how good I look or else keep quiet about it. You'd think at this point in my life I would be used to encountering clueless people but alas, I am always shocked that people don't behave the way they should.

It's my 39th week of pregnancy. My hormones are all over the place and I don't have any clothes that cover my belly. People should be worried about what I might say!

Comments

  1. People are so stupid. Especially when you are pregnant. I remember having to tell HR about someone who wouldn't stop touching my stomach, even after I asked her to, when I was pregnant.

    I'm sure you look FABULOUS and KUDOS to you for keeping those sweet things in there that long, Sam. Nice work!

    Hugs,
    Meg

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  2. Wow! 39 weeks! You and the twins are fantastic!

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  3. 39 weeks--you're amazing. I'm sending you all my good birthing vibes.

    People will say all kinds of stupid things once the twins are born, too. Someone once said to me when I had Maddie and Riley out in the stroller, "OH! They are so cute! But is that one [Riley] a little jaundiced?" I said, "No, but he is half-Asian." That shut her up.

    Thinking of you.

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  4. Whoa!!
    I had to read this post out loud to my husband because I couldn't believe some of the things people have said to you. I'm totally shocked!! In part because I would NEVER, EVER even think of saying those things to anyone. So rude!

    Congrats to you on making it to week 39, that really is quite an accomplishment. I can't believe the turtles are going to be here soon! I'm very excited for you!!

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