Regarding my previous post, I should clarify that it was I, upon consultation with my husband, who decided to pull Vivi from the Wednesday playdates. This was done as a way to give the kids a break from each other but also to create an opportunity for me and Aviva to spend some more positive time together.
Since the inception of the Wednesday playdates, we have had very few problems. In general, Vivi is left to play on her own with the other children while their mothers and I fawn over the Turtles. What I have come to realize, however, is that the vast majority of her friends do not have siblings, much less two baby siblings. As a result, when another kid asks to get a push on the swing from his mother, it happens. When Vivi asks, I generally put her off. I can see how this would feel upsetting for her so I'm trying to be more available and open to her requests.*
So for the foreseeable future, my husband and I have a lot of fun planned just or her. We spent this past Wednesday at Ikea so Vivi could play in the ball pit. My husband is taking her hiking on Father's Day and we are going to get a sitter for the Turtles in the next couple of weeks so we can take her to her first movie. For the first time in 15 months, we are trying to say, "Turtles you have to wait. It's your big sister's turn."
Wish us luck!
*I do want to qualify this by saying that I am not turning into a helicopter parent. I strongly believe that children do better when we are not at their constant beck and call and when they are given the opportunity to explore on their own and work out their differences. What I feel was happening to Vivi, however, is that I have been virtually unavailable to her because her sisters require so much supervision and care. I'm trying to be more mindful and inclusive now.