I am fully aware that, as a mother, I will be an embarrassment to my children at some point. It seems to be a requirement. I would imagine that it starts happening somewhere around adolescence. That point in time when friends become more important to a child than her own family. That moment when I go from being the loving caregiver to a fat slob who doesn't know how to dress. (Which, to be fair, is very likely true now.) It seems inevitable that I will be that person who just DOES. NOT. UNDERSTAND. how difficult it is being my daughter.
I get that but no one ever tells you that your preschooler could be an embarrassment to you. Lately, I am afraid to say that I have been feeling very ashamed of Vivi's behavior. In the past two weeks, she has pushed, shoved, and bitten her friends without any obvious provocation. She seems very angry and I, clueless mother, am bewildered as to why. This is not the behavior of MY child. My child is creative and precocious and sweet. She doesn't need to be aggressive, after all, she has a plethora of words at her disposal.
In other words, what the #$&(#* is going on?
Yesterday, one of my closest mommy friends called to say that Vivi had bitten her son at school and that he was feeling like he didn't want to play with her anymore. It took a lot of courage for my friend to call me to discuss problems between our children and I am glad that she did. I appreciated her willingness to talk to me about it and while I may be confused about the reasons why my daughter is acting this way, I am under no illusion that her behavior is getting way out of control.
So, as I write, Vivi is making a picture and writing an apology to her friend. We will meet them later and discuss what is happening. I think it is important for Vivi to hear from her friend that her behavior hurts him. We are trying to walk that fine line between not tolerating bad behavior but also not giving it so much attention that we are reinforcing it. I'm not sure if this is the right way to handle it but my child psychiatrist husband said my taking away her brand new birthday bike might be a little over the top.
Has this ever happened to you? How do you handle it?