Coming Out

The birds are singing. The trees and flowers are blossoming. The sun is shining and I'm coming out. Well, not in that way... but I feel like a spectacular change is upon me. A change that feels so good.

The change: I am really enjoying my children. I know. Sometimes I don't believe it either.

That is all but, in many ways, it is everything. While I had a lot of mixed feelings about the Turtles turning one, we are no longer in survival mode and that feels like a reason to celebrate. I see my girls, all three of them, interacting in ways I never could have imagined when I was so desperately sleep-deprived and trying to keep my sanity. They giggle with one another. They comfort one another. They talk and sing and explore together. They all gather in our bed and snuggle. And now, above all else, they sleep.

When I envisioned having my own family, these are the moments I pictured. There weren't any deafening cries from colic and constipation. There were no tears from extreme exhaustion. There certainly wouldn't be any distance between me and my husband. And, by god, there never ever was going to be two babies at once.

Somehow, with all of these curve balls, we are coming out the other end. My husband and I are getting to know each other again. Our Turtles brighten my day with their beautiful smiles and curiosity. Vivi entertains me and challenges me and when we cuddle at night, she says things like, "You're my best mama in the whole world and that is why I love you. You're a good cooker too."

With the passage of time, I can finally say thank you to all the other moms of multiples out there who told me that it would get easier. It is and I couldn't be happier.

Comments

  1. Hooray! Glad things are getting better. I can't relate to having multiples...in fact, it's hard to even imagine what that first year must have been like for you. SO happy they are sleeping, you're feeling rested and that Vivi likes your cooking. Oh, and the weather warming up is a plus, too! That's made a big improvement on my outlook lately.
    xoxo

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  2. I am so glad that everything is getting better. I can relate to "And, by god, there never ever was going to be two babies at once." I am hopeful that there will be some bright spots in the next year and am really glad to hear that you are enjoying yourself and your kids!

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