Mama Mama Quite Contrary

My girls spend a lot of time together.  Jude and Elie are inseparable for all the reasons associated with young twins and, apart from when she is in school, Vivi is home with them.  Vivi will often try to engage her sisters in her games which generally consist of bossing J&E around in the name of playing "school" or "dance class" or "summer camp." The problem is that Jude and Elie drive Vivi crazy.  They don't listen.  They don't follow her directions and even worse, they are full of their own ideas.  Oh, and sometimes they just. won't. stop. touching. her. stuff.  The few harmonious moments of sibling love quickly spiral into a three-way battle for control. I've tried to talk with Vivi about some of the ways that she can deal with her sisters.  Her first step is what we have called the counter-offensive.  She put this sign on her door: JUDE OR ELIYA CAN'T COME IN!!!!! This is Aviva's room.  Onle [only] mom and dad c...

Well, I didn't make my goal of blogging every day this month but at least I had a good reason-- pinworms. Internet, that may be the only time I use the word good and pinworms in the same sentence. My house is proof that it makes no difference how neat and tidy you are, sometimes kids catch some pretty undesirable stuff.  After dealing with head lice and pinworms in the span of six weeks, I can attest to just how undesirable those things are. By the way, undesirable is a nice way of saying really, freaking gross. After wiping Elie's bum and discovering that she had worms, I did what any caring mother would do. I sat down and cried at my bad luck.  Yes, because it is always about the mother.    When I told Elie that worms were the reason she had such a sore bummie, she said in a very concerned voice, "Oh no. This is such bad news.  I hope my sister Jude doesn't get the wormies." And like most twins, they shared that too.

I was wrong.  Lice is not the gift that keeps on giving.  That honor belongs to pinworms which we discovered Elie has.  (I think it might also take the cake as more disgusting than lice too.) Seriously, can a mama and a kid get a break around here? While I am off dealing with more laundry and a poor, pathetic three-year old, I am going to leave you with my personal parenting philosophy: Happy Friday!

Guess what we got yesterday? A surprise snow storm! It started snowing around dusk and the girls were beyond excited.  I was too.  There's nothing I love more than being in my warm house watching it snow outside.  Because I was feeling all warm and toasty inside, I roasted some acorn squash and made a matzoh ball soup.  The soup was a hit with the kids... the squash not so much.  I think the snow really mellowed everyone out  because our house was silent by 8:00.  My husband has a cold so he went to bed not long after the girls but I sat in the quiet by our picture window and read until 9:30.  What a wonderful way to end the day. Jude woke up this morning and yelled the loudest, happiest "Good Morning!" I had ever heard.  She and Elie were so excited that they ran into my room and demanded I look out the window with them.  Elie exclaimed, "Mama!  There is still snow on our minivan!"  Vivi was thrilled too and got rea...

I am typing this while my little girls fight with each other in the basement.  Their general modus operandi is to argue until one of them ends up in tears at which point they yell and stomp until they have worked out their differences.  I often don't need to intervene and this, in many ways, makes my twins far more mature than Congress. Last night, my husband and I stayed up late watching the election returns.  I was anxious all day.  I lived in Boston during Mitt Romney's tenure and could not face the prospect of him as President.  (Apparently neither could the vast majority of other Massachusetts residents.)  To say I was relieved that this country re-elected Obama is a huge understatement. While I think Obama is a hard-working, intelligent man with a lot of class, I am not optimistic about what he can accomplish.  The Republicans seem to take pride in being obstinate obstructionists. I can't understand how people who do nothing but refuse to com...

I opened the New York Times homepage this morning and saw photos of people standing in line in the dark to vote in make-shift tents that had no heat.  Those pictures really moved me because I've lived in a country where people aren't allowed to vote; a country where people are at the mercy of their own dictator.  Voting means so much to so many people around the world and it is a privilege many Americans take for granted. There is all this talk of voter fraud but let's be realistic about what's happening in this country.  People aren't scamming the system to vote.  Please.  I believe "voter fraud" is a euphemism for targeted voter disenfranchisement.  When people vote despite a multitude of obstacles, it sends a message that this right is important. I voted today and like last time, I took my six-year-old with me.  She has learned so much about politics during this election that I wanted her to know that voting is her way to do something about the ...

Vivi loves Obama.  It all started during the 2008 election when her dad and I talked at great length about politics.  We were so happy to see George W. Bush go that I think our enthusiasm was contagious.  She obviously didn't know anything about the implications of one winner versus another but she decided early on that Obama was her "new best friend."  She was only two then but when my husband came home with this "Obama nightgown" she was delighted.  Now, with another election upon us, Vivi is just as enthusiastic about Obama.  So much so that she wrote him a letter.  Actually, more like a book since she is just as enthusiastic about using her stapler. This is the main page but there are a few others with "You Rock Obama" surrounded by even more stickers and a page with Vivi's stats and address so Obama can write her back. We included the picture below and she sent it off. My six-year old certainly picks up on our f...

Shopping with my girls is often a test of patience and fortitude.  I try to avoid it at all costs but occasionally I need to take them with me.  In those cases, I try to be as efficient as humanly possible.  That was the case this summer when I was on the hunt for an extra bathing suit for my twins.  I found one quickly and within seconds Elie laid vociferous claim on it.  This, of course, upset Jude.  It didn't matter to Jude that we already had one suit at home.  She wanted something too so I let her choose a pair of pajamas. Everyone was happy and these were the first items of clothing my girls could call their own. Other than the suit and jammies, everything Jude and Elie wear is a hand-me-down from her big sister, family, or friends.  Any gifts they have received have fallen into the matching outfit category and all their collective clothes are stuffed into two built-in dressers in their room.  It's a hodgepodge and a reci...

In January 2011, I blogged about how remarkably similar my twin girls look and how they have met their developmental milestones always within a day or so of each other.  Strangers have frequently asked if they are identical but I've told them that they are fraternal since that was what I was told.  I generally don't put a lot of stock in what strangers say anyway because it isn't uncommon for random people to ask my friend with boy/girl twins if her children are identical.   The thing is I  confused them a lot.  I did two years ago and I still do today. When we discovered our twins at 26 weeks, I was told they are fraternal. This made sense.  (As much as anything can make sense when discovering a bonus baby so late in the game.)  My mom is a twin.  My dad has twin sisters.  The girls had separate sacs and separate placentas and they were a totally spontaneous conception.   But this summer, I was at my wit's end over their zy...

Jude and Elie are delightful little creatures.  They are extremely affectionate, curious, and love making people laugh.  They offer up stories about our home life to anyone who will listen, regardless of whether we know these people or not.  (Jude told a woman at the YMCA that "Elie had hair rubbing on her cheeks so she decided to get a little trim.") They enjoy their celebrity status at the Y and I am thankful for the loads of people offering to babysit. My girls are wonderful... around other people. At home, they are antagonistic wee beasties who spend the vast majority of their days being provocative and disagreeable.  This has been such an issue in our house, that we have decided to rename our children.  Allow me introduce you to my  twins: This is Twin Explosive.  She wants what she wants (usually something pink) when she wants it (now) and she will yell, whine, or steal to get it.  She is always the first to stake her ...

I have decided that I need a goal. Something really meaningful.  Something I think I can achieve.  Not the usual lets see if I can get all 12 loads of laundry done today  nonsense. My goal is to blog every day this month and, unlike the laundry, I am actually looking forward to it! Soooo, with that being said, do you want to know what yours truly got for her 36th birthday? Here it is: A pretty awesome "birthday sculpture" made from the recycle bin. My favorite vanilla cake from my favorite bakery. Too many birthday snuggles to count. Oh yeah, and head lice. And let me tell you folks, that is the gift that keeps on giving. The girls were all in the tub and I was doing my usual bathroom ritual which involves searching my head for gray hairs and promptly plucking them.  (Hey, it takes work to look this good.  Hardee har har...)  Anyway, while perusing my scalp what to my wondering eyes should appear?  A bug. ...

Today I am home.  Alone. The girls started school on Tuesday so that makes today the second day this week that I have been wandering the hallowed halls of Chez Mama Mama by myself. And it feels so good. I thought I would be really sad to send Vivi off to first grade and my wee Turtles off to nursery school but I am not.  Vivi was thrilled to go back and  I got to have a good solid week with just her before school started.  We went to the movies, cleaned out her clothes and did school shopping, took the train to Boston and visited the science museum, and had an all-around fantastic time.  It was a great way to end the summer. Jude and Elie got their share of camp and adventures this summer too.  We made bubbles and sidewalk paint. We had picnics at the park and worked in our garden.  We went to the beach.  We saw fireworks and decorated our shed with colored shaving cream. We did a lot and for the most part we enjoyed it a...

Internet, I don't even know how to process what happened to me today.  I am feeling angry and humiliated and anxious all because I did something today that I DO NOT think was wrong but someone else did. A man called the police on me today for leaving my sleeping twins and fully awake six-year-old daughter in the car alone... for less than five minutes.   This is what happened: I needed to pick up a dress that I had ordered.  The store opened at 11 and I pulled into the parking lot at 11.  All three girls were in the car but Jude and Elie had just fallen asleep.  Vivi was awake and coloring and said she didn't want to go in.  There were only three or four other cars in the parking lot and because the front of the store where I would be has a big window and I knew I wouldn't be long, I decided to run in alone.  I put down the windows in the car (it was 80 degrees and somewhat overcast), locked the doors, and gave Vivi the usual warning that ...

How do you help a child cope with the loss of her best friend? I wish I knew.  Vivi and Charlotte have been inseparable for years.  They spend hours playing together, sharing secrets, and planning sleep overs and dance parties.  Charlotte, who is two and a half years older, proudly proclaimed that she and Vivi are like sisters because they "have blue eyes and almost exactly the same hair except that Vivi's is curly and brown and [hers] is straight and blonde."  Vivi says they are sisters because Charlotte saw her when she "was just three days old."  They love each other and that affection is frequently expressed in love notes Vivi draws for Charlotte and the way Charlotte looks after Vivi on the school bus. This is my daughter's first love affair and it is ending. Charlotte is moving... to New Zealand.   I adore Charlotte and her family.  I feel like I am a better mother because Charlotte's mother sets such a great example for me. ...

I love going back and reading my blog.  It reminds me of things I had long forgotten and while it is not all sunshine and roses,  I am glad that the happier moments seem to outweigh the meltdowns.  I hope one day my girls will read it and understand a bit more about their early lives and have a little compassion for their poor mother. I will be the first to admit that I have been terrible this year about recording our family shenanigans.  Life is busy and I seem to have zero time to do anything reflective during the day.  By the time my children have passed out, I'm not good for much outside of a little sewing and a little more reality TV.  Occasionally though something will happen like it did today and I think it must be recorded for posterity.    This is my exchange with Jude after dinner tonight: Jude:   Mama, can I have another popsicle? Me:   No.  I think one is enough for tonight. Jude:   But Elie said that ...

We are!  Jude and Elie turned 3 on March 6th and it was a much anticipated event.  We had cake. We had hats. We had a little party at the Y with all their favorite grown-up friends.  (Let's face it.  These kids don't have friends their age.) Because there was not one thing these kids wanted other than strawberries and blueberries, it was easy to make them happy.  Vivi gave them a bucket and bubbles and I made photo books for each of them.  My little narcissists loved them.  (We'll just keep the fact that I couldn't tell who was who in some of the baby pictures our little secret.)  Of course, you can't turn three and NOT have something fancy to wear.  So Aunt Katie came to the rescue by sending these new swim suits. Mother Nature also celebrated our survival of three years with three kids by sending some beautiful weather our way. So we made like The Brady Bunch and "fixed" our bikes. Hard work isn't really Jude's thing and this is how...

I am part of a Facebook group called Naturally Parenting Twins.  This group was a nice discovery for me because it is hard to find people who believe that it is possible to have a natural twin birth and breastfeed two babies simultaneously. To have women who share those feelings as well as know the unique challenges of raising twins is a real gift....usually. The problem is that in every kind of mothers' group there always seems to be a person (or two) who believes her way of parenting is the right way.  Sadly, in my experience, these women almost always fall under the Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting  purview.  You know the kind:  the militant co-sleepers, the woman who believes that if you had a c-section you are just a victim of the medical establishment, the mother who insists on carrying a baby nonstop instead of using a stroller (aka "a pod of isolation"). You get the idea.  These are the women I try to avoid. I believe that unless a woman has a se...

I am not a bibliophile.  I love reading but I prefer to keep my books at the library for someone else to take care of.  I have a few that I treasure or use for reference but I am not a collector.  In fact, I don't like holding on to things that lack utility or sentiment and that is how I feel about most books.  When my space is cluttered with things, my mind is too and it is an uncomfortable way for me to live. When it comes to books my husband and I are total opposites.  He loves them.  The physical object, old and tattered or new and crisp, is a joy to him.  His books are like friends that hold memories and the idea that he would part with them is ludicrous.   As you might imagine, we are at odds about his book collection.  We are also at odds about our children's books, but in a different way.  I love that my girls love books.  We probably have a couple hundred and I treasure most of them.  I love to watch them read o...

Jude and Ellie don't really know that they are twins.  They aren't yet three and I think the whole meaning of being a twin is far beyond their level of comprehension.  People frequently ask if they are twins and they always proclaim that they are.  I know they are just echoing what they hear me say.  They are who they are.  One is Jude and one is Ellie. Last night, the girls chose to wear matching pajamas.  This is unusual because we only have one matching set (they were a gift) and Ellie hasn't been very interested in them. She is very persnickety about her clothing and tends to like different things from Jude so I was surprised when they both picked the same thing. Well, this morning Elie looked at Jude and had a revelation. She said, "Jude, you wearing pink polka dot pajamas and I wearing pink polka dot pajamas.  We are twins!!!!!" Yes, indeed.

Internet, please forgive me, I have created yet another mythical being to con my children into doing something they don't want to do. Her name is the Hairy Fairy. As I explained to my girls, the Hairy Fairy is a rather unfortunate soul.  She has the most awful hair.  It is stick straight, thin, and the color of smashed peas.  She tried everything to make her hair curly like Vivi, Jude, and Elie's but nothing has ever worked and she felt very sad about that.  One day, she realized that the only way that she could ever have the beautiful, curly hair she admired so much would be to take the curls that big girls like mine no longer need.  That was how she magically transformed from sad sack to magical fairy hair collector.  Because the Hairy Fairy knows that not every girl wants to part with her curls, she leaves a treasure behind to thank the girl for her kind curl donation. I had Vivi at the word "treasure." So, after months of months of "gr...

I love the holidays but they always seem to pass so quickly that I often resent the arrival of January.  It can seem like a really long, dark month here in New England so I have decided this year I am going to change the way I do things. My husband and I are cleaning out and simplifying. We both have been feeling like our lives are falling victim to the TOO MUCH SYNDROME.  Our girls have too many toys. They are watching too much television and their behavior is the worse for it.  We have had too much food.  Our shelf space is lacking because of too many books that aren't worth keeping.  Our dressers are bulging from clothes that don't fit. My husband works too much.  I have too many control issues.  (That's kind of a perpetual problem.) So in 2012, we are: -Canceling Netflix -Donating our unused clothes, toys, and books and limiting what comes into our house -Menu planning and wasting less food -Limiting our dairy (which leaves my husband chronicall...

Am I the only one who thinks the holidays come and go in one big blur?  It seems like it was just the beginning of December and we were all worked up about choosing our tree.   My husband had the brilliant idea that we should tag a tree after Thanksgiving before all the good ones are scooped up.  (Apparently our Charlie Brown trees of yore were haunting my poor Jewish spouse.)  Well, he and the girls did a good job this year.  Take a look: I also spent a fair amount of time at the sewing machine this December.  I made those big cushions on the left hand side of the tree-- complete with piping.  (That's unchartered territory for me!)  Jude and Elie love them and, as I suspected, they work beautifully for story time or as implements of destruction. Speaking of Jude and Elie, they had quite an accidental meeting with "Santa Claus" in the YMCA parking lot a few weeks ago.  There is an older man who works out when I do.  He has long white...